June 4, 2021: 👩💻It’s hard to find the information you want to find. Researching relevant clinical information is no joke and takes so much time. It’s also amazing to find relatively little or no clinical evidence for widely used supplements or procedures. I find myself questioning if using said supplement or procdure is then a waste or wondering if positive clinical experience warrants the use. In any case, the answer isn’t necessarily so black and white and there is a lot of clinical nuance.
💜Life is hard and complex. I’m so grateful to be in a position to hold therapeutic space for others trying to figure things out for themselves. I’m equally grateful for people who similarly hold that space for me.
🩸 My heart bleeds for all of the atrocious truths that continue to splay across headlines. I’m angry the history books in Texas completely fail to mention massacres, structural racism and critical race theory. I’m angry the Catholic Church won’t take responsibility for the graveyards of Indigenous children in Canada. While I can’t make sense of it, I can sit with it.
✨Deceptively sexy opportunities may be taking more from me than they advertise to give back. I still haven’t learned how to say no, but I’m making a commitment to learn how.
June 7, 2021: I learned about Egerton Ryerson and his contributions to residential schools in Canada. As the architect of these residential schools as early as 1847, he was a prominent contributor to the foundation of this system responsible for placing nearly 150,000 Indigenous children into the care of Christian churches tasked with removing any influence of their native culture. This included removing them from their families and native language and exposing them to physical and sexual abuse. We have also come to learn in recent weeks the even darker truths behind missing children buried on the grounds of these schools. Though Ryerson was not alive when these schools began opening in the 1870's, it was under his influence and direction that the government moved forward with their creation.
I happened to walk up at the very moment protesters were pulling down the statue of Ryerson at Ryerson University in downtown Toronto, where protests had been happening for days. The loud thud, coupled with the squealing tires from the truck was quickly drowned out by chants and songs from Indigenous persons in the area.
I was stunned standing there in what seemed like a historic moment that was long overdo for so many people here in Canada. I was faced with so many mixed emotions as I stood there in shame of my white privilege and forced myself to let go of any narrative that involved me. There was only time and space for those directly affected and what little peace could have been brought to them in the abrupt, defiant removal of Ryerson from his bronze post.
June 20, 2021: 👶🏻 I absolutely love pediatric exams. Never in a million years did I think I would love them so much. My heart melted when I asked the incredible 4 and 5 year olds to hold my stethoscope on their chest for me as I listened to their perfect little heart beats. Their perfect little lungs. I’m definitely in love with working with little people! 💕💕💕
💇♂️I am excited to learn from Chinese Medicine in real practice. The deeper you look for research, the more you find studies showing benefits of acupuncture, herbs, traditional practices which incur sometimes incredible healing benefits. As a child (with a brain full) of Western Medicine, my heart is open to learn more. TBD.
👨👩👧👦I love family medicine! Being entrusted to help and entire family with their health needs is incredibly humbling. With loads of pressure too!
June 27, 2021: Happy Birthday to the love of my life and soul mate. Thank you for the best 6 years of my life.
What I learned yesterday:
😖I’m struggling getting into the swing of things as an intern. I’m always behind the curve, feeling overwhelmed and not hitting the mark. I’m not sure when things will get better, but I’m here for the ride.
⛰Watching the @wser 100 live feed last night got me missing the mountains and trails more than ever. I can’t wait to live somewhere where they can be a part of my daily life. Toronto hasn’t inspired the adventurer inside of me, and I’m dreaming of all the other places I’d rather be...
🎭I’m so grateful to live in a city and country with minimal vaccine hesitancy. I have to admit, nobody in my inner circle hasn’t received their vaccine, and I’m so proud and grateful for everyone’s commitment to community and public health. As restrictions begin to lift for fully vaccinated individuals, I’m uber grateful to begin connecting with people again.
*LoveLightHealth*
July 1, 2021: 💥When your heart is beating out of your chest and something feels wrong about a situation, it’s your time to speak up.
What I have to say today:
🧡Today I stand in solidarity with people of First Nations.
July 7, 2021: 🏔Start working with the most distressing symptoms first. The most demand is there.
💊For people who come in with a ton of medications and/or supplements, create a long term vision and work together to create a path to get there. It’s difficult to argue that someone has an optimal treatment regimen if they are taking more than 10 things. Dig into the pathways, find connections in symptoms and offer better supplement/medication support to address more than one need.
💊💊On that note, do you know why you take everything you take? And does it do what’s it’s supposed to do?
July 10, 2021: As part of my COVID recovery, I've signed up for my first race in almost 2 years. Join me September 24-26 for a global event where we will walk or run 5k or10k to raise money for @nwb_global. Join Team TO to TX to be on my team for this event!!! Early bird pricing is only $40 and you will be supporting an organization so important to me I joined their advisory board! I can't wait to keep sharing more about their mission and global impact with you which spans from Thailand to Haiti to Mexico and the USA. Nearly every dollar donated goes to support initiatives aimed at educating and empowering locals to manage their own healthcare. This is not another white savior mission organization wreaking havoc on underserved communities. Please visit their site to learn more and reach out with any questions you might have about this group! Also DM me if you would like to donate directly to this race without participating.
July 12, 2021: Check this out people!!! I recorded my first podcast with my incredible friend and boss woman paving the way for women in leadership!
I have learned so much from this woman in my life and am so glad she is sharing bits of her knowledge and wisdom in her own podcast! Check out @erinjewellconsulting, and find her podcast on every podcast streaming device.
I learned that I can show up, put pieces of my story out there and be brave on a daily basis. Thank you, Erin, for calling me up and in.
August 7, 2021: What I learned last month:
✨I can do hard things. These hard things don’t make me look pretty. I revert to old immobilizing anxiety patterns. My mouth breaks out with mouth sores. The lack of sleep from rumination adds to the cascade of tiny steps backwards I have been taking most days. BUT. I can get through it. I’m not rushing moving through it either. I’m savoring every lesson. Feeling through every day and emotion. Allowing the lessons to sink in deeper than ever before. I’m humbled by the bravery my old and new friends have shown me in staying with me through it all. There is so much to keep me going, especially on the hard days. Shout out to my partner, my therapist, my best friends, my family and some other special people who know who they are.
✨ I love to do hard things. Even though the hard things come with lots of ugly things, there is something deep inside of me that secretly loves it. I know I need to keep unpacking this because it’s most likely tied to the feelings that never make me feel like I am enough… You know, the ones that make you keep going and pushing to prove to someone (yourself?) that you are capable and competent? Hopefully one day, doing simple things will make me feel this way too.
✨Show up. Do better. I’m very busy in clinic these days, and I’m consistently falling short in my case preparation. I know I’ll never “know enough,” but I know I can show up and do better. I haven’t been able to adequately designate time to get all of the things done I need to and feel good about the work I’m doing. This means I need to shave things off in places that aren’t helping me become a better clinician. I said it.
Any hard things come up for you last month? Share below or DM me.
